The average romance scam costs victims $35,000 — and that’s just the money. The emotional toll can be even greater. Scammers use flattery, false promises, and high-pressure tactics to get what they want. But people who know about these schemes are 80% less likely to engage and 40% less likely to lose money.
This guide will help you recognize the red flags behind both romance scams and investment scams, so you can protect your money, your heart, and your peace of mind.
Romance Scams: What They Are and How They Work
Romance scams start with something that feels innocent. It might be a kind message, a sweet compliment, or a bit of attention just when you needed it. But behind the screen is someone pretending to care about you to gain your trust — and your money.
Scammers often reach out through social media, dating sites, or even text messages to strike up a conversation. Once they’ve formed a connection, they may use phrases like:
- “I feel like I’ve known you forever.”
- “You’re the only one who understands me.”
- “I can’t wait to start a life with you.”
- “I’ve never felt this way about anyone else.”
- “I’d love to meet you, but I’m currently overseas.”
These lines are designed to disarm you and build emotional trust quickly. Then, just as you’re feeling close, they introduce a problem, like a financial emergency or a “can’t-miss” investment opportunity. They ask for help. Sometimes they promise to pay you back. Sometimes they say it’s for “our future.”
These tricks work because they take advantage of your kindness and trust. But they rely on pressure and false promises. If someone you’ve never met in person starts asking for money or investment help, it’s a red flag. Protect your financial information, and don’t send money to people you haven’t met or verified.
Understanding Investment Scams
Investment scams often sound like smart opportunities, until you look closer. It might come across as a legit-sounding coaching program, cryptocurrency tip, or “limited-time” stock offer, but the common thread of an investment con is a promise of unusually high returns with little or no risk.
Here’s the thing: No real financial expert can promise big profits without risk.
Like romance scammers, investment scammers may start out friendly by acting helpful or knowledgeable to make you feel comfortable. But soon, the tone shifts to pushy and urgent. They might say the window to act is closing or that they’re giving you special access.
Some of these hoaxes go as far as creating fake websites or pretending to work for real companies. Others try to rope you into pyramid schemes, precious metal sales, or “secret” investment clubs.
If you’re being pressured to invest without time to think or consult others, it’s likely a scam. Always take a step back and do your own research. Con artists count on you feeling rushed and keeping it quiet.
Red Flag: High-Pressure Sales Tactics to Watch For
One of the biggest clues that something isn’t right? Pressure. Scammers don’t give you time to think, research, or talk to someone you trust. If you feel like you’re being rushed or pressured, that’s a major warning sign.
Watch out for these common tactics:
- Promises of big rewards with barely any risk.
- Lots of urgency: “act fast,” “this won’t last,” or “you’re the only one I’m offering this to.”
- Requests to pay with gift cards, crypto, or wire transfers.
- Excuses for why they can’t meet in person or hop on a video call.
- Dodging your questions or giving vague answers about the investment.
- Telling you not to talk to friends or family about it.
- Getting pushy if you want time to think or talk to a financial advisor.
These aren’t just quirks, they’re strategies. Scammers know that the more time you have to consider or ask someone else, the less likely you are to go along with their scheme.
Trust your gut. If something feels rushed, secretive, or too good to be true, pause and take a breath. Real opportunities don’t require you to go it alone.
Do Your Homework: Research Investment Opportunities
Before you send a single dollar, pause. Scam artists are hoping you’ll act without asking questions. But a few minutes of research can save you thousands.
Start by verifying the source. Look up the company or person on your own — don’t use the contact information they give you. Call the company directly using a phone number from their official website.
Talk it over with someone you trust. A friend, family member, or financial advisor can offer a fresh perspective and help you avoid being rushed into a decision.
Staying Safe Online
Online platforms are where many scams begin, so staying alert can make all the difference. Here are a few tips to protect yourself online:
- Use strong, unique passwords and update them regularly — they’re your first line of defense.
- Be cautious with emails and phone calls from strangers, especially if they seem overly personal or flattering right away.
- Don’t share sensitive information like your bank details or Social Security number with people you’ve just met online.
- If something feels off, trust your gut and don’t click, even if it looks like it came from someone you know.
Online tools make life easier, but they also make it easier for scammers to reach you. Charlie’s Fighting Financial Fraud Together is a quick, 5-minute guide to help you talk about scams with your family.
What to Do If You’re Targeted
If you’ve been targeted by a scam, you’re not alone — and it’s not your fault. These scammers are skilled at what they do. Along with the FTC’s advice for handling scams, here are some steps you can take to protect yourself.
Step 1: Stop Communication Immediately
Cut off contact with the scammer right away. Don’t respond to messages, and don’t explain yourself. These individuals are trained to manipulate emotions and prolong conversations. Ending communication protects you from further influence and gives you space to think clearly and take control of the situation.
Step 2: Don’t Send Any More Money
Even if the scammer makes new promises or threats, hold your ground. Any money sent is unlikely to be recovered, and scammers often continue asking for more once they know someone is willing to help. Stop all financial transactions, no matter how urgent the story sounds.
Step 3: Contact Your Bank or Credit Card Company
If you sent money using a debit or credit card, call your bank or credit card company right away. Let them know the charge was fraudulent and ask if it can be reversed. Many companies have protections in place that may help you recover your money.
Step 4: Gather Your Records
Keep all communication, including emails, text messages, receipts, and any transaction details. These records will be helpful when reporting the scam and can support investigations. Don’t delete messages, even if they’re upsetting — you may need them for evidence later.
Step 5: Talk to Someone You Trust
You don’t have to go through this alone. Besides the financial toll, this experience can take an emotional toll, too. About 65% of victims report feeling stress, anxiety, or even depression afterward. If you’re struggling, reach out to someone you trust or talk to a counselor. You’re not alone, and there’s nothing to be ashamed of.
Helpful Resources
The AARP Fraud Watch Network offers tools and support specifically for older adults. The Federal Trade Commission (FTC) makes it easy to report fraud and get personalized guidance.
You can also explore resources from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau to stay on top of the latest scams and financial protections. And for Charlie users, FraudShield provides real-time alerts and educational tools to help spot scams before they escalate.
Romance & Investment Scams: FAQ
How Do You Know If Someone is Romance Scamming You?
They move fast with lots of flattery and big feelings early on. Soon after, they hit you with a money emergency or a can’t-miss investment. If they avoid phone or video calls, live far away, or ask for secrecy, be cautious.
What Are The Stages of a Romance Scam?
A romance scam usually starts with friendly messages that quickly turn into flattery and emotional attachment. Then comes a financial emergency or “investment opportunity.” Once money is sent, the scammer may vanish or keep asking for more.
What Is the Most Common Investment Scam?
Most investment scams work the same way: They usually promise easy money, rush you to act, and ask for hard-to-trace payments (like wire transfers, gift cards, or cryptocurrency).
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